The Making of a Moron

Whenever I'm walking in the subway and someone plows into me like their jockeying for first place in the roller derby, I can just imagine what they were like as a child. Now that I'm a mom, I'm around kids all the time at amusement parks, PG movies, and of course, tons of birthday parties. It's always easy to spot the parents who have given up (or maybe they never cared). I'm talking about parents of children who talk out loud in the movies, run around your table at restaurants, or push you out of the way to get in front of you on line. These annoying kids will grow into annoying adults, the same jerks that scream into their cell phones on a bus or blow smoke in your face as you walk out of a building.

Not too long ago, my husband and I took our daughter to see a movie. Out of about 80 kids in the theatre, one kid just wouldn't shut up. He was about 5 and clearly had no idea how to act in public. After 10 minutes we leaned over and asked the father to tell his son to quiet down. He barked back at us, "He's a child he's going to talk throughout the whole thing!" At that point we thought it best to put some distance between us and them. Luckily, we were able to move several rows from the offending father and son, but still, the kid talked so loudly that we heard him at least 5 more times. My only regret is that I won't see that little loud mouth grow up to be a teenager. What I'd give to see his daddy's face after he comes in past his curfew, stinking drunk. I imagine his response to his father's scolding will be, "Come on, I'm a teenager, I'm gonna get drunk!"

Witnessing this kind of irresponsible behavior (on the part of the parents as well as the child) is even worse when your own little angel is watching. I just don't want my daughter to know that crass behavior and lack of consideration for others is an option. I had some extra tickets to the Ballet so I invited my daughter's friend and her mom. My daughter's friend asked her mom if she could take off her shoes and her Mom said yes! I was mortified! There's no nice way to put this, you could smell this kid's feet from several seats away. At one point we were alone and I tried to talk her into putting her shoes back on, but she just smiled and said, "my mommy said it was okay." It was not okay with me, and it probably wasn't okay with the poor people who were sitting around us.

Just this past month I went to the movies with a friend and her kids. Her son slumped into his seat and put his feet on top of the seat in front of him. I know it's not like he was sniffing glue, but he was 13 and he should have known better. His mother should have known better too.

It's not easy to discipline a child, in fact it can be exhausting. "Yes" is easy, there's no begging, no whining, give the kid what he wants and your done. This is not a strategy that works in the long run. After a while a child that doesn't hear the word no, doesn't even understand the word no. All the experts say that children crave boundaries, you're really doing them (and the rest of us) such a disservice by letting them run wild.

As for my 10 year old daughter, she's a doll, she really is. Of course, the years from 3 to 4 weren't easy, and I don't mind telling you that they were tough years for me. I do think that the reason she's so great today, is that we didn't take the easy road. We always made it clear that you respect others and that you don't always get everything you want when you want it. My husband and I did our best to raise her to be considerate, and we did, and do, say no when it's in her best interests. Someone's got to stop her from eating Chinese food and doughnuts every day!