The Making of a Moron

Whenever I'm walking in the subway and someone plows into me like their jockeying for first place in the roller derby, I can just imagine what they were like as a child. Now that I'm a mom, I'm around kids all the time at amusement parks, PG movies, and of course, tons of birthday parties. It's always easy to spot the parents who have given up (or maybe they never cared). I'm talking about parents of children who talk out loud in the movies, run around your table at restaurants, or push you out of the way to get in front of you on line. These annoying kids will grow into annoying adults, the same jerks that scream into their cell phones on a bus or blow smoke in your face as you walk out of a building.

Not too long ago, my husband and I took our daughter to see a movie. Out of about 80 kids in the theatre, one kid just wouldn't shut up. He was about 5 and clearly had no idea how to act in public. After 10 minutes we leaned over and asked the father to tell his son to quiet down. He barked back at us, "He's a child he's going to talk throughout the whole thing!" At that point we thought it best to put some distance between us and them. Luckily, we were able to move several rows from the offending father and son, but still, the kid talked so loudly that we heard him at least 5 more times. My only regret is that I won't see that little loud mouth grow up to be a teenager. What I'd give to see his daddy's face after he comes in past his curfew, stinking drunk. I imagine his response to his father's scolding will be, "Come on, I'm a teenager, I'm gonna get drunk!"

Witnessing this kind of irresponsible behavior (on the part of the parents as well as the child) is even worse when your own little angel is watching. I just don't want my daughter to know that crass behavior and lack of consideration for others is an option. I had some extra tickets to the Ballet so I invited my daughter's friend and her mom. My daughter's friend asked her mom if she could take off her shoes and her Mom said yes! I was mortified! There's no nice way to put this, you could smell this kid's feet from several seats away. At one point we were alone and I tried to talk her into putting her shoes back on, but she just smiled and said, "my mommy said it was okay." It was not okay with me, and it probably wasn't okay with the poor people who were sitting around us.

Just this past month I went to the movies with a friend and her kids. Her son slumped into his seat and put his feet on top of the seat in front of him. I know it's not like he was sniffing glue, but he was 13 and he should have known better. His mother should have known better too.

It's not easy to discipline a child, in fact it can be exhausting. "Yes" is easy, there's no begging, no whining, give the kid what he wants and your done. This is not a strategy that works in the long run. After a while a child that doesn't hear the word no, doesn't even understand the word no. All the experts say that children crave boundaries, you're really doing them (and the rest of us) such a disservice by letting them run wild.

As for my 10 year old daughter, she's a doll, she really is. Of course, the years from 3 to 4 weren't easy, and I don't mind telling you that they were tough years for me. I do think that the reason she's so great today, is that we didn't take the easy road. We always made it clear that you respect others and that you don't always get everything you want when you want it. My husband and I did our best to raise her to be considerate, and we did, and do, say no when it's in her best interests. Someone's got to stop her from eating Chinese food and doughnuts every day!

Schools Out For Summer!

Finally, it's almost over. I've been up to my armpits in classroom presentations, afterschool program performances, dance recitals, school plays and end of year concerts. When I was a kid, you maybe had a couple of shows that your proud parents were thrilled to attend. I've watched my kid, sing, dance, make and sell bracelets, play a pilgrim, dance again, portray a superhero and play guitar in an afterschool rock band. Her future as an acting, singing, dancing superhero jeweler is clearly all set.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I have a bright and inquisitive child, it's just that I'm exhausted. Heaven forbid communications break down between me and my husband, "what do you mean she has a dance rehearsal on Tuesday, she's supposed to be at her school play rehearsal!" Just one crossed wire, one missed rehearsal and the kid is bumped to the lowest of the low, playing a tree. I can't live with that guilt.

Showbiz is all well and good, but all of these activities can come with a price. When the heck is she supposed to be doing her homework! I've felt like a slave driver on nights when we'd get home so late that we ate dinner at 8pm and my 10 year old was up until 10:30pm doing her homework! It's hard to explain to the teacher the next day that my daughter's homework is less than stellar because she was an awesome sugar plum fairy the night before.

At least we all get a break for the next couple of months. I thought that I enjoyed summer vacation when I was a kid, it's actually much more of a break for me now. No more Saturday morning dance classes, no more rehearsals, I finally get my kid back!